The Truth about the first months of college

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the couch with my family when my cousin, who was visiting from out of state, looked at me and said, “The first two weeks of college will be the hardest weeks of your life.”

At the time, we all laughed. It sounded dramatic. I was probably the most excited I had ever been in my life. I was moving to New York City, the city where you can be whoever you want to be and where dreams come true. I was attending my dream school, and starting a brand-new chapter of my life.

Looking back now, I can confidently say that he was right.

No one really prepares you for what it feels like to leave everything you've ever known behind. Sure, your parents will tell you it's going to be hard, but no matter what anyone says, to me at least, nothing could change the excitement I had.

Before college, I had spent my entire life surrounded by the same people, the same routines, and the same sense of familiarity. My days always looked the same; even things as little as the Starbucks I went to were the same every single day for over 10 years.

Then, suddenly, I found myself in a city with millions of people, living in a dorm room with two people who, at the moment, were complete strangers, trying to build a life from scratch.

I don't think I can put into words how lonely I felt the first week at NYU. What shocked me the most was that never in my life had I been surrounded by so many people and felt so alone at the same time.

Every day at NYU that first week, I walked through crowded streets, packed dining halls, busy classrooms, and overflowing subway stations. There were people everywhere (and I mean literally everywhere). Yet somehow, I felt completely isolated.

I would see friend groups forming around me and wonder if everyone else had figured something out that I hadn't. Social media only made this extremely worse. Every scroll I made through my Instagram feed seemed like everyone was already having the best time of their lives while I was counting down the days until I could go home for a weekend.

There were so many moments when I questioned whether I belonged at NYU at all,, which was so funny because, for as long as I can remember, going to NYU was my dream.

I missed my family more than I ever thought I would. I missed having people who knew me without needing an introduction. I missed walking into a room and feeling comfortable. I missed the version of myself that felt confident and secure.

What I learned through this process is that college forces you to start over.

You have to introduce yourself hundreds of times. You have to learn how to be alone. You have to build friendships from nothing. You have to figure out who you are when nobody around you knows your story. I also learned that this is one of the most painful processes.

What nobody tells you is that the people who seem to have everything together are often struggling, too. The student sitting next to you in class, the person you see laughing with a group in the dining hall, the roommate down the hall they're all trying to navigate the same uncertainty.

I found that my experiences at NYU shifted when I stopped expecting college to feel like home immediately.

I learned that real friendships take time. Confidence takes time. Finding your place takes time. These are all things my family and friends back home reminded me of when I called them late at night.

There was no perfect moment where everything suddenly clicked. It happened slowly, in the small moments: getting coffee with someone after class, laughing with my roommates, recognizing people on campus, finding places in the city that made me feel calm, and realizing I was not as alone as I thought.

-Zara Lateef, founder