Protecting Our Peace, the Practice of Saying No

In life, it is of paramount importance that we protect our own mental health, which we can do through listening to our needs. While the struggle with mental health comes from factors both inside and outside of our control, it is important that we seize what opportunities we do have to protect our peace. When possible, saying no to situations that go against our current needs helps us more than we know. 

Our needs fluctuate from day to day. During summer, our bodies might be telling us that we need more sleep or a better diet. At the start of the school year, we might find ourselves needing a familiar routine. In the heat of finals season, we may crave relaxation. Every time we ignore these needs of ours in favor of staying out with friends a couple of hours longer or studying until the sun rises, we feel it taking a toll. Exhaustion, both mental and physical, or frustration can be quick to build up when we are not taking care of our needs. 

Listening to our needs is an important skill. We should not be afraid to use it and choose ourselves. Friends will understand when you don’t feel up to something if you communicate that to them. To push yourself past your limits in an effort to people-please is damaging; the most healing experience could instead be saying no. For example, when you feel drained, it is okay to text a friend and say, “Can we do another day?” Or, when you don’t feel right with a situation, it is okay to tell them so. If you explain your reasoning, then people should understand, and they may even respect your decision to take care of yourself and to stay true to your boundaries.

Think of the emotional weight we carry—including stress, exhaustion, and more—as a knot. The more we ignore our current needs, the more the knot grows, becoming more tangled and heavy. Conversely, when we listen and adhere to our needs, the knot becomes lighter and looser. When we continuously take the practice of protecting our peace seriously, in time the knot may unravel and go light as a feather. Healing our mental health means listening to our own minds and bodies, and making decisions that align with what they are telling us.

–Emma Andrzejewski, President